humbled...

I woke up this morning feeling a little grumpy. I didn't sleep well last night... I couldn't stop thinking about "The Last Jihad" which I finished just before going to bed. In the middle of the night, disoriented and half asleep, I kept thinking that we were about to go to nuclear war with Iraq, and every noise I heard was the ticking of a bomb about to explode (creepy, I know). Eric informed me this evening that I woke him up at 2:30 am to warn him about a missile or something.

My point in sharing that with you is to establish that I didn't have a good night. I got up at 7am on the dot to get Anna up and start the breakfast fiasco (she just recently discovered how to spit food back out at mommy) and I was in a bad mood. To make matters worse, I discovered that Nellie had "accidents" last night in the office, and I had to scrub the entire floor by hand with bleach and water.

Eric left for church around 9:45am minutes after discovering that somehow while I was cleaning, I locked the doorknob to the office and we don't have the keys. His wallet, Bible, and phone were locked in the office as well as my spanish books and sewing machine... which I had planned to use when Anna went down for her morning nap. Frustrated beyond belief, I said goodbye to Eric, put the baby down for her nap and went to take a shower.

When I stepped into the bathroom, the first thing I noticed was the smell of mildew. YUCK!!! It's a constant battle with mold here in hot, humid, Panama and I was in no mood to clean the bathroom YET AGAIN. I did a quick once-over, took my shower, sat down at the kitchen table with my Bible in front of me. READ I told myself... and I opened to where I had left off in Acts (I'm still with ya, girls!).

Today I read about Paul being arrested in Jerusalem- for no reason, as usual- and about how he pleaded his case before Sanhedrin, to governor Felix, and to King Agrippa. None of these found him to be guilty of anything, and yet they continued to keep him. TWO YEARS Paul sat in prison, not as a convicted man, but just waiting for a judgement. He sat in a jail cell, having done no wrong. I'm pretty sure that my house, even with a stray dog and moldy bathroom, are nicer than Paul's jail cell. And yet, when brought before King Agrippa Paul says:

"Therefore, having obtained help from God, to this day I stand, witnessing both to small and great, sayng no other things than those which the prphets and Moses said would come- that the Christ would suffer, that He would be the first to rise from the dead and would proclaim light to the Jewish people and to the Gentiles" Acts 26:22-23

And he continues:

"I would to God that not only you, but also all who hear me today, might become both almost and altogether such as I am , except for these chains." Acts 26:29

Paul did defend his innocence, but the majority of his speech was his testimony... about his former life as a persecutor of the the Way, and then about his conversion on the road to Damascus, and about Christ being the fulfillment of the law and the prophets. Paul ends by telling the King that he should become a Christian and have faith in Jesus Christ!

After I finished reading about Paul's trip to Rome and his time under house arrest, I felt overcome. Oh that I would have the same devotion as Paul... that I would consider myself a bondservant, and that I would be focused on the souls of others! Lord give me Your heart for the people of Panama, that I might not be concerned about petty things, but about what truly matters.